(CW: passing reference to intentional weight loss)
I only have a handful of photos of myself before 2011.
I literally ran from cameras. In high school folks would give me their yearbooks to sign and I would use a pencil eraser to erase my photo and sign in the now blank spot.
I didn’t want anyone to remember what I was sure would be the “Before” picture.
In 2011 my dad died and I realized I had one picture with him. Something snapped and Although it was uncomfortable I started showing up in pictures.
After my kiddo was born I started being mindful of the way I showed up in photos. I didn’t want him to see me looking apologetic or like I didn’t want to be there. I wanted him to see me happy, loving my life and my time with him.
Although it was externally motivated, it changed my life and has lead to so much self acceptance.
To think I took this photo myself, just to take it—to be vain. It’s fucking revolutionary.
I’m proud of my selfies. And my selfies remind me I’m proud of who I am.
If you don’t have a selfie practice, I highly recommend it. You don’t have to share them, but if you’d like to, tag me I’d love to see them!
And as always thank you Tracy Cox, @sparklejams, for reminding me that fat vanity is powerful.