I have been called angry a lot in my life.
And I HAVE been angry a lot in my life.
Anger tells us something is wrong. It can tell us that we are being mistreated. It can tell us that we are seeing others mistreated.
It can show us the disconnect between ought to and is.
A lot of us, especially those assigned female at birth or socialized as women, have internalized shame around anger. We should just let it go... move on.
Sometimes I become so disconnected that part of me feels like I need to confirm that *I should* be angry with several other people before allowing myself to express or even fully experience it.
“Do I really deserve to be angry?”
I have been sitting with this a lot lately. And it feels like the ultimate act of gaslighting.
I have every right to be angry.
You have every right to be angry.
I have been trying to sit it with it and listen to what my anger is telling me. Let it wash over me until I know what is at the core of it.
Experience it before I can know if it is the type of anger that feeds righteousness or the type that will burn me up.
Then I can keep what I need to fuel change and let go of the rest.
Right now I’m still letting it wash over me.
And that is okay.